The Top Ten Things A Cunning Turkey Would Say To Escape His Obligation

As we count down to Thanksgiving, here are our ideas for what a cunning turkey would say to weasel his way out of his Thanksgiving obligation.

Special thanks to my friend, Jenny, for the assistance with this silly blog post.

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10. “Don’t look at me! I’m not the one who consistently wakes up everyone at the crack of dawn!”

9. “I’m not a turkey; I’m a chicken.”

8. “There a strange glaze in your eyes when you hold that knife…sort of like Norman Bates in ‘Psycho.'”

7. “Look! Quick! Over there! It’s Santa Claus!”

6. “I’m not a turkey; I’m a pig.”

5. “You really should look at this more closely; there are actually a great many benefits to becoming a vegetarian.”

4. “Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape from the claws of axe murderers like you, I presume.”

3. “Honestly, have you looked at yourself lately? Eating should probably not be one of your top priorities this holiday season.”

2. “I’m not a turkey; I’m a dog.”

1. “Is that a hatchet in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”