Vintage 1965: Today’s Annual Snarky Birthday Blog Post

Vintage 1965.

It can be a little daunting watching celebrities who are born in your birth year or a year or two ahead of you grow old along with you but show no signs of wrinkles and aging. Their endless use of Botox, plastic surgeries, and hours in the gym cause you to compare yourself to them and wonder why you haven’t considered going under the knife or injection needle yourself (working out is quite possible if you set your mind to it). As much as I want to look as if I’m in my thirties, that isn’t quite realistic any more. It’s time to come to grips with aging and simply embrace it. I’ve got to face reality.

Screw that.*

Nice thought, but to hell with it.*

I hate aging. It totally sucks.*

Celebrities born in my year? Sarah Jessica Parker, Viola Davis, Kristin Davis, Paulina, Elizabeth Hurley, Julia Ormond… And they all still look fabulous and fashionable.

But let’s get real for a moment. Anyone who relishes aging is just really full of crap.* I mean, who the hell likes growing older? It isn’t for the faint at heart. Nevertheless, it is part of life, and I suppose there are things we can do, such as the following seven that top my list to make ourselves feel better about the whole damn process:

  1. Remain true to your sense of style—stay fashionable and fabulous. It makes you feel better. I love clothes and fashion. I cleaned my closet and organized my shoes the other day. Feet don’t typically change size, so shoes will always make you feel good, unlike the waistline of your pants.
  2. Stay young at heart. Laugh a lot. Enjoy life. Allow those “beautiful” laugh lines go to good use.
  3. Refrain from saying the words “remember when…” that totally date you.
  4. Keep up with current events and trends. It helps me in the classroom, and I get a laugh from students when I ask them to guess what’s on my play list and they find out I’ve got some hardcore rap among the music. I really do.
  5. Stop crying when you see photographs of yourself. Remember, those who are Vintage 1965 do the same exact frigging thing when they see a bad shot of themselves.
  6. Get excited when you get a zit! You are still like an adolescent!
  7. Stay the hell out of the sun or use mega sunscreen to keep age spots and wrinkles at bay. I like a little sun on my face just like the rest of you, but this is a big no-no for long-time good skin care and health.

Yeah. Happy freaking birthday.

I used to get excited about it, but not any longer. It just means more aging, more grey hairs, more anxiety, more dental work, and more of a need to watch that cholesterol.

I think I’ll go sit amongst my shoes to make myself feel better.

Have a great day, everyone. I’ll go away now, take two aspirin, and call you in the morning.

**(My apologies for the crasser-than-normal language. Sort of. I’m typically G-Rated; just not today.)

xx |

signatureStephanie Verni is the author of Baseball Girl, Beneath the Mimosa Tree, and the co-author of Event Planning: Communicating Theory and Practice.










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