Confessions of an Insomniac

woman in white crew neck t shirt lying on bed
Photo by cottonbro on

The cursor is blinking and I’m not sure how to begin. I guess I’ll just come right out and say it: I often suffer from insomnia.

At some point during my adult life, I found myself unable to sleep. I go through stretches at a time when, no matter how hard I try and no matter how many times I try to get comfortable in bed, sleep will not come. I stew. I toss and turn. I try to count sheep. I pray.

And yet, I get no reprieve. It’s 2:51 right now, and try as I might, I cannot sleep.

One may wonder what causes this phenomenon. I detest it. And the more I think about it, the more stressed and awake I become. Though my eyelids are heavy and my desire to drift off into dreamland is great, I’m unable to do so. Frustration has set in. I feel like I need some air.

In the middle of the night, this type of malady creates an opportunity to think about things in a different way. I find myself reflecting on choices and decisions I’ve made in my life, sometimes wishing I could turn back the clock and beg for an alteration. One of the positives of all this “nighttime thought” is that it offers a chance for a clear vision and opportunities for openness in the future.

Insomnia is very real.  It’s an unwelcomed guest.  Luckily for me, these spells only last one or two nights, and then I’m back to normal (if you can even call me that in the first place…who is really normal?).  I feel for those folks who must endure it night after night after night. However, I did find some strange comfort in the fact that at 3 a.m. when I logged into Facebook, several other friends seemed to be experiencing the same thing, as I saw them posting to their status updates. I don’t wish it on you friends, but thanks for making me feel as if I weren’t alone.

There are some things we have absolutely no control over: I didn’t ask to be 5’1”; I didn’t put in a request for allergies; and I certainly didn’t solicit the Insomniac Fairy to bless me with little rest.

I am weary now…I must try to get some shuteye.

If there are any insomniacs out there, I’d love to hear from you. What suggestions might you share with readers to help us battle (and conquer) this sleep disorder?


  • Charlotte

    I also suffer from insomnia. Usually, like you, it comes at me for one or two nights and then passes, although in the past I’ve had much, much worse spells (I’m really hoping that never happens again…). I suppose the worst thing about it is that it’s really hard to fight, because the more you TRY to sleep the worse it gets. So it just has to be suffered, for the most part, until it passes.

    The only thing I’ve found that sometimes helps is yoga relaxation exercises. I took up yoga in desperation a few years ago and it can really help to break out of the cycle of desperation and the tension that generates. It doesn’t always work, but sometimes it does!

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