A Mother’s List: The Top Ten Things I Wish Would Never Come Out of My Mouth Again

Not every day is blissful in the Land of Motherhood.

As mothers, the reality is, we make these statements, or statements like them ADL (all day long). I’ll count down some of my favorites to number one in David Letterman style.

Poe (left) and Holly (right): Our Neglected Pets

Number 10: Who left their retainer on the bathroom floor?

Number 9: Those birds are going to be given away to a loving family unless someone cleans their cage!

Number 8: Homework is meant to be done, not admired from afar.

Number 7: I don’t care if it’s called goulash; it’s what I made for dinner, so eat it!

Number 6: Did you guys wash your private parts? Wait, let me ask that again…Did you wash your private parts well?

Number 5: Who clogged the toilet with half a roll of toilet paper?

Number 4: If you have to “toot,” please remove yourself from the kitchen table.

Number 3: If I have to say it again, I’m going to lose my mind.

Number 2: Five, four, three, two…

Number 1: That’s it. I’ve officially gone insane.


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